5000 4/08

Journal Entry 151
Axel Martin
10/29/2016
6:04PM
Dad.
I don’t know why people pity me when I tell them that I don’t talk to or see my dad.
I don’t care. He left when I was so young it really didn’t affect me. Plus, what actually do I need him for? I have a mom that has a secure job and is a healthy functioning parent. Sure, I don’t see her a lot but it’s not like we would hang out all the time if I did. I just don’t understand the need for him. Yeah sure, I get curious about him sometimes. But I’m not going to go out and play Finding Steve… the guy is an asshole. Don’t know him, don’t care. He absolutely was enamored with my mom since high school. Until once he hit college two years earlier than my mom, he split with her. Real romantic, Steve. We all know why you broke up with her just before entering college. Coincidentally enough he finally decided he knew what he wanted just as she entered college and he was close to finishing. They were together for six years before they decided to get married. Around the same time he starts to become a big deal for his literature and poetry. Two years after that they have me, and at 30 he decides he wants to reinvent his life. Really Steve? Of course, you do. The timing seems convenient for you, you have a bestselling book and a newborn son. Now is the time to leave a whole family behind in Stockton, Illinois while you go to New York City to do God knows what… Fuck you. I’m glad you’re not around. But I’d be lying to say I care enough to be mad at you. The “fuck you” is just for my mom who happens to care about you a lot more than I did. For breaking her heart,  I hope you rot in hell. For me, I couldn’t care less if you were the president of the United States or a dead hobo in the streets of Manhattan. How could I? How could you love or hate somebody you didn’t know. My grandma sometimes tells me that she sees a lot of you in me when my mom isn’t around. I disagree. I read your books, Steve. And frankly they’re not as good as everyone says. They’re alright, but mine will be better. I promise you that. I’m smarter than you, I’ll be better at writing than you, and I’ll be twice the man you’ll ever be and I mean that. How about that Steve? Sound good to you, father?
Fin
Axel Martin
7:13 PM


Here for a Good Time, Not a Long Time
“Are we going to Sarah’s halloween party tonight… I heard it’s going to be HUGE,” Veronica said excitedly.


Veronica loved parties and this wasn’t any different. Personally, Miranda and I planned to go to the museum and I preferred to do that. Although… at the same time, I wasn’t opposed to a little partying.


“I know Miranda wanted to go to the museum or something today but I really wanna go. I heard at least a hundred people were showing up. I mean it’s not like one of MY parties, but that seems super fun,” Veronica emphasized.


“No, I’ll go. I like parties,” Miranda corrected.


“I thought you and Axel were going to the museum tonight,” Ryan reminded Miranda.


Miranda gave me a look that said she had to prove something. I don’t know why she had to prove to Veronica that she could go to some stupid halloween party.
“Nah, it’s alright. We can go another time, this seems like it’ll be a good time,” I said.


“Good! So it’s decided, we all are going to Sarah’s halloween party. It’s 4:30 so I think I can find some costumes by the 8 comes around,” Veronica said cheerfully.


“...Costumes? Seriously, what are we five,” Miranda said sheepishly.


“Oh please, Miranda! Everyone will be wearing one,” Veronica pleaded.


Miranda just rolled her eyes. I could tell this was starting to be unfun for her already. To be fair though, if everyone was wearing costumes, it’d be weird if we weren’t wearing costumes. I think that was irrelevant to Miranda though. Usually she enjoys going to parties and doing this silly type of stuff like dressing up for halloween. I think she’s just a little off because our plans changed to doing this party. We went to Veronica’s house from Ryan’s to find costumes. When we got there, I noticed there was maids while the house was sparkly clean. That was odd, and Veronica didn't even seem to notice. I guess that was common for her. When Veronica’s dad saw us, he sent them home. Promptly after he gave us a quick formal but cordial greeting, and left the house. Veronica didn’t even look at him once, maybe she was too concerned about getting us costumes.


“Okay Ryan, I think you’d look absolutely perfect in this Mario costume, try it on,” Veronica said with a smile.


“This is dope Veronica, thanks,” Ryan said with a half smile.
I don’t think he would’ve cared what she pulled out. She could have pulled out a milk carton costume, and Ryan would’ve been excited to try it on. Ryan always seems like he’s satisfied with everything. However, the Mario costume did look awesome on him.


“Anddd for Miranda! Here’s a very cute pumpkin costume for you to wear,” Veronica said excitedly.


“Um… A pumpkin? Really, you want me to wear that,” Miranda sounded annoyed this time.


“Woah, since when did Miranda Frost get so concerned about what she wore… Plus this is cute, it fits your personality! But if you have a problem, choose your own. I have plenty,” Veronica compromised.


Honestly, I didn’t know what the big deal was. In my opinion, Miranda would look cute in the pumpkin costume. I mean, she’d look good in whatever she showed up as. Ever since we decided to go to this party instead of the museum she has been very easily irritated and I was starting to get concerned for her. I contemplated suggesting to her about just going to the museum and drop the whole thing. But at this point, I was excited to go now. 


“No, it’s okay. I’ll just wear this whatever,” Miranda said sheepishly again.


“Great! I’ll wear this slutty cat outfit and Axel can be Batman,” Veronica said dismissively.


We put on our costumes while Veronica just put on ‘cat makeup’ for the most part. Her cat costume consisted of black fishnet tights, a black high-waisted bikini bottom, a metal ring black bandeau, drawn on whiskers, a drawn on nose, detachable cat ears, and a long black tail that I still have no clue how it was connected.


“By the way, Tiffany, Taylor, and Trinity are coming over at 7 to pregame and we’ll uber from here,” Veronica said while finishing her makeup.


Tiffany, Taylor, and Trinity were triplets that were known for being the most stuck up, spoiled, annoying group of girls you could imagine. Basically they’re Veronica times about a million. Veronica definitely had a few snobbish traits about her but she was nowhere like the triplets. At least Veronica was smart, hardworking, not shallow, and had at least some awareness of her privilege. These girls are the worst and going to the party was at the very least of my interests.


“Oh no… Veronica please don’t, I know you like those girls but I don’t think I can handle another story of…  ‘When Tiffany got totally sooo drunk in Jamaica that she like threw up all over the beach,’” Miranda said mocking the triplets.




Ryan laughed and continued mocking the triplets.


“No, more like… ‘Oh my God that one time Taylor got sooo drunk and asked if a real cop was a male stripper.’”


Now I couldn’t help myself. I had to chime in.


“Guys it’s… ‘Remember when Trinity got sooo drunk that she called 20 Ubers at Times Square because she didn’t know what a Honda accord looks like.’”


Needless to say, we didn’t really like the triplets. Nor were we excited for them to come. Trinity once told me that she only orders Uber XL even when she’s alone because “it’s easier to identify the cars.” That’s what we’re dealing with here.     


“Well, they’re bringing the vodka for the pregame and they’re ordering the Uber for us... So they’re coming, alright?” Veronica snapped fast.


“Oh no Veronica, in that case I’ll just drive. We don’t need to Uber, I don’t even want to drink that bad,” Ryan pleaded with Veronica.


“You’re definitely drinking tonight Ryan, loosen up. It’s a party. You can deal with the triplets for about half an hour. Plus, currently, I have no alcohol on me and even though you plan on abstaining from drinking, I plan on doing just the opposite,” Veronica said firmly.


“Okay, whatever, well in that case I guess I will drink,” Ryan forfeited.


“Great! It’s a party, you should indulge a little bit,” Veronica said cheerfully.


Veronica loves drinking, I mean we all participate in that stuff… but not like Veronica. Over the years the amount she drinks has increased while the frequency remains fairly constant. Miranda and Ryan both drink less than me, though. So I guess I don’t have much room to criticize Veronica. And with that, Miranda and Ryan equally smoke more marijuana than Veronica and I. I guess we all have our vices. Veronica’s just feels more perverse and I don’t know why.


“Oh my God… you three look absolutely gorgeous,” Veronica exclaimed while opening up the door for the triplets.


To my expectations they all came dressed as Playboy bunnies. I think it was a nod to the Dahmn triplets. Which would make sense because that’s exactly who they remind me of. When they came in they were super nice to all of us there. Sometimes I wonder why we make fun of them so much in private. It’s superficial kindness, but at least they bother to make an effort.
        After a couple of rounds of shots they started sending me a heavy load of questions over the blaring house surround sound speakers Veronica set up in the background.


        “So Axel, you’re like a writer,” Tiffany asked.


        “No Tiff, he’s a poet,” Taylor corrected.


        “It’s okay, they’re like the same thi–,” I started to say before Trinity cut me off.


        “I thought he was bowler,” Trinity added.


        “He does all of those things,” Miranda shout out.


        “Oh that’s neat, we write a little bit too on our blog,” Trinity said.


        “Yeah, but mostly we just vlog because we don’t really have the time for it,” Trinity added.


        This was getting increasingly boring, and I was too drunk to act like I actually cared in the slightest. So, I just kept smiling and nodding and waited for them to stop talking. Veronica and Miranda left to camp out in Veronica’s room to “get ready” and stuck Ryan and I with the triplets. I think Veronica truly did just want them to come over for the alcohol. I mean, ever since  we finished drinking she has been completely absent. Really the only time in recent memory Miranda and her have gotten along for a long period of time.


        “Axel, have you applied to any colleges yet,” Taylor asked.


        “Yeah, I have submitted my applications to Princeton, Cornell, and University of Chicago. I’m still working on my Yale essay though,” I responded.


        “Woah those are really smart colleges, Axel, congratulations,” Trinity said with sincerity.


“Thank you,” I replied.


“We want to go to Arizona State,” Tiffany said as they all nodded.


“Oh, that’s cool for what,” Ryan asked curiously.


“We don’t know yet… but their parties are super crazy,” Trinity said as they all nodded again.


Ryan and I just paused for a minute and looked at them, until I broke the silence with a fake seal of approval, “wow, that sounds great guys!”
Just as I was contemplating going to the party with Ryan on my own, Miranda and Veronica emerged from her bedroom and instructed the triplets to order an Uber. Per usual, they ordered an Uber XL that pulled up to Veronica’s house. The Uber was a 2016 Lexus LX which had just enough room to carry all seven of us. I was shocked considering that this was just a 15 minute ride and the Uber was $65. I guess it was nothing to the triplets as they just drunkenly flirted with the driver the whole way and calling out things that they noticed out the window. I was still thinking about Miranda leaving Ryan and I with the triplets to suffer alone but I agreed to let it go because at least Miranda was getting along with Veronica. Plus, Miranda looked so damn cute with that pumpkin costume on. How could I stay mad?


When we got to Sarah’s party I noticed Chase Lentil hustling over to our uber alone.


“Hey! Ryan, Axel, wait up for a second boys.. Is it alright if I go in with you guys,” Chase asked humbly.


Ryan and I just stood there for a second. We both knew it wasn’t a good idea. Chase is a kind of quirky kid and he clearly showed up to Sarah’s uninvited. I mean, he didn’t even have a costume on or anything. He just showed up wearing Levi denim jeans and a collared shirt from Kmart.


“I don’t know if that’s a good idea Chase… maybe you should just ask her when you get to door,” I offered.


Chase didn’t say anything he just gave me a sad look. We all knew he wasn’t going to get let in naturally like that. But both Ryan and I really didn’t want to be the subject of blame for Chase being let in the party. I truly felt bad for him though, even though he was a little weird, he genuinely was a nice person.


“Yeah sure man, you can come in with us,” Ryan piped up.


Chase’s eyes glimmered when Ryan gave him permission to follow us in the party. I was beginning to question Ryan’s judgement but I decided to keep my mouth shut when I saw how excited Chase got. I wouldn’t doubt it if this was Chase’s first party, and to be honest this was a pretty big one. At least 80 people it seemed like. I wouldn’t be surprised if nobody even knew Chase was there.


“Okay Chase when we go in just stay behind us but very close, alright,” I told him.


Chase nodded and we caught back up with Veronica, Miranda, and the triplets as they headed up the long round driveway. Miranda and the triplets didn’t seem to notice that Chase was behind us, but Veronica shot Ryan and I a mean glare when she noticed him. She didn’t say anything though and everything went according to plan as one of Sarah’s friends opened the door for us to come inside with Chase huddle behind us.